Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
