i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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