I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
