Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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