Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
