did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
