Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
