yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just high enough for therapy.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
