I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
