She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
