I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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