Umm I'm too high to move.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The power of my boobs compel you
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
