i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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