I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
