One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
