I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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