I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
