the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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