I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
