Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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