covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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