i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
