Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
