Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
