Porn is love you can see.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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