pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
