I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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