I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
