its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
