Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
