It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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