$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Randomize
