Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
