Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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