I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
