Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
