No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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