1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
