Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
