Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I will pee on everything he values.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
