I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
