I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
