My hand turned me down
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
