lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
