Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Dicks are not precious.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
