I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
