oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
