hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
