I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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