my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
