have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
