I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
