Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
