Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
